Pew! Pew! My TOP TEN Favorite Halo Weapons

As anyone who knows me can verify, I am super fond of lists. So as I was brainstorming ideas for what to write in upcoming blogs, I thought to myself, ‘Why don’t you put lists on your bloggy-post-thingy?’

Welcome to the first of them!

And of course, the first list on this thing should definitely be a Halo one. (Seriously, who doesn’t like Halo?) 

Here’s the usual disclaimer: I’m a below average person, and my opinions are not sanctified facts, ‘kay?

10. Needler (Halo: Combat Evolved)

Yup, I’m going to catch some flak for this (probably). But before anybody unleashes the hounds on me, note that I am NOT talking about the Needler from Halo 2. This is the OG OP Needler. For those of you who don’t know, the Needler is a gun that fires a stream of pink needles that just follows whoever you’re aiming at. The needles stick into your enemy on contact and then explode a few seconds later. And honestly, when I first played Halo, the Needler was the most unique gun available for use. No other game had it. It’s iconic. (Halo 2 Needler can suck it.)

9. Boltshot (Halo 5: Guardians)

This gun is on here because of how much I hated it in Halo 4. I loathed it in Halo 4. I just did not like the way it felt or fired. It was like a wannabe Plasma Pistol. But one of the things Halo 5 got right was fixing up the Boltshot. It became a mix of the Needler and the Battle Rifle, firing short bursts that curved toward whoever was in your sights. In Halo 4, I avoided the Boltshot like the plague. In Halo 5, I actively searched for this little baby on the battlefield.

8. Needle Rifle (Halo: Reach)

You know what’s better than a Needler? A Needler that has a scope! Halo: Reach made my Needling dreams come true. (Yes, I have had dreams where I’m using a Needler. Play a video game long enough, and it will infiltrate your dreamscape.) I never would have thought that prancing around maps and popping headshots on unsuspecting Jackals could be so fun. Unfortunately, Reach was the only Halo game to give me a Needle Rifle. What’s up with that?

7. Beam Rifle (Halo 2)

I get performance anxiety whenever I pick up a sniper rifle (in a video game). There’s so much onus on you when you do. When you have a sniper rifle in your hands, if you’re not good with it, it’s uber apparent. (I don’t do too well under pressure usually.) One exception to that is the Beam Rifle. The Beam Rifle is the Covenant equivalent of the sniper rifle, but instead of a bullet, it shoots out a — you guessed it — beam. It feels lighter to me, less heavy-duty, and I’m much more likely to do well with it than with a human sniper rifle. Plus, that New Mombasa map where you’re introduced to it is the bomb.

6. Fuel Rod Cannon (Any Halo game)

It’s an alien rocket launcher that fires giant green blasts with delicious spread damage and can hold up to five rounds in one “clip.” ‘Nuff said.

5. Gravity Hammer (Halo 3)

What’s funny about this entry is that I’m pretty bad at using the Gravity Hammer. For those of you who don’t know what it is, a Gravity Hammer is a giant hammer that you hold in two hands. It’s almost as tall as a person. When you swing it, even if the swing doesn’t connect directly, the force of it can take down an enemy’s shields. It just feels cool, looks cool, and sounds cool. It’s my sister Alya’s favorite weapon to use.

4. Shotgun (Halo: Combat Evolved)

I know, I know. How ordinary to have a shotgun be on a top ten list of video game weapons. But the shotgun from the first Halo was special. It was a powerful close-range weapon, as per usual, but it had a surprisingly good range. When you’re dealing with the Flood (Halo zombies, basically) the shotgun is an absolute must.

3. Plasma Pistol (Halo 2 and beyond)

I almost wasn’t going to put the Plasma Pistol on this list because I’m not overly fond of it. But by god, it’s the most useful weapon to have, and as Danny pointed out to me when I was coming up with this list, I use it all the damn time. If you charge the Plasma Pistol up, it lets out an EMP-esque burst. It can get rid of shields in a single shot, and it can temporarily disable vehicles that are nearby you. Plus, you can lock on to enemies and ships with it. You can never go wrong with a Plasma Pistol.

2. Magnum Pistol (Halo: Combat Evolved)

Anyone who has played the original Halo will know why I chose the Magnum from the first game. It was just TOO powerful (in a totally awesome kind of way). In subsequent games, developers went out of their way to make it weaker; that’s how powerful it used to be. But in Combat Evolved, the Magnum was all you really needed to take down foes. It had incredible stopping power, held up to twelve rounds, and came with a scope. The chunkiness of that pistol still gets me excited every time I decide to plop in the original game and play for a few minutes.

1. DMR (Halo: Reach)

No other DMR in the history of DMRs makes me feel the way Reach’s DMR made me feel. It was the perfect weapon to take control of. It had more reach and power than a Battle Rifle, and the sound of it was so satisfying. Ask anybody who plays Halo: Reach with me. The two weapons you can always find me with is a DMR and a plasma pistol. One burst of the Plasma Pistol takes down a shield, and then a quick headshot with the DMR finishes them off. That DMR was Halo-gasmic. The DMRs in Halo 4 and Halo 5 pale in comparison. I spit on those DMRs.

Agree? Disagree? Have no idea what I’m talking about? Let me know in the comments!