I’ve Never Put on Makeup

Okay, so that title is a bit of a lie. It makes it sound like I’ve never had makeup on my face, and to some extent, I have.

I use lip balm fairly regularly, and if I’m going someplace fancy, I’m not averse to using lip gloss or even lipstick to make myself feel like I’m sprucing up.

In addition to that, for my high school prom, my sister insisted she do my makeup. So I stood stock still, i.e. cringing away from her every time I got uncomfortable, for a whole half hour, as she generously applied various products to my face.

However, that’s it for my makeup experience.

To this day, I’ve never sat in front of a mirror and “made up my face.”

It’s not that I have anything against people who put on makeup. As a matter of fact, it’s not always apparent to me when people are wearing it, especially if it’s a stranger. When I’m scrolling through pictures on Instagram, I can’t point out people who wear makeup (though I’m fairly certain it’s a large majority). I can spot a filter a mile away, but makeup is shrouded in mystery.

However, I do know that one of the positive aspects of makeup is that it highlights and accentuates good features on your face. (Errr, subjectively good features, I guess.) It can cover blemishes, even out your skin tone, make your lips appear fuller, your eyes brighter. It can sharpen the angles of your cheekbones and soften the lines on your face.

So don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate makeup. If anything, I’d like the opportunity to look better than I do, highlighting what I consider my best features and obscuring my worst.

Plus, the ritual of it appeals to me. I’m rather fond of daily habits.

But there are things about makeup that hold me back from just biting the bullet and trying it out.

For one thing, I’m incredibly sensitive about things around my eyes. To illustrate my point, that is why I wear glasses. For those of you who don’t know, I wear glasses. Here’s a picture:

I have terrible vision, and my prescription has only increased over time. When I first got glasses, contacts weren’t really a thing, and when it was mentioned that I should try them out during high school, I said “Hell no.”

Contacts are little slices of plastic that you shove onto your eyeball. Does that sound pleasant?

No, it does not.

I have a very reasonable fear of sticking things near my eye, so right off the bat, mascara, eye shadow and eye liner are no-gos for me.

Another reason why I don’t wear makeup is because it makes my face feel heavy and caked. The one time I did wear full-on makeup during my prom, I felt like a clown. I could feel the various layers of powders, creams, and gels weighing my face down. It was not pleasant.

Which also leads to another issue I have with makeup: cleaning up afterwards takes time. Good makeup is the kind that stays on your face for a long while. But a consequence of that is that it takes time to remove it. If I’m hanging out with friends late at night, I don’t want to have to stay up even later to take up painted grime from my skin afterwards. I want to be able to hit the sack immediately after an outing without worrying about leaving a skin-colored smear on my pillow case.

My last big issue with makeup is the cost. Makeup costs money. Maybe not too much if you’re buying cheap brands, but if you keep using it, makeup becomes something akin to groceries. You have to consistently purchase it in order to maintain your favorite appearance. I already have a hard time buying my favorite soap bar (these fantastic-smelling blue ones from Lush) on a regular basis. Do I want to add mascara, eye liner, eye shadow, eyebrow pencils, concealer, foundation, bronzer, primer, powder, blush, setting spray, etc. to the list of things I need to buy every week?

In the future, I may decide to give makeup a try, though definitely not during a pandemic that a) keeps me indoors most of the time, b) has limited my social interactions, and c) reduced my income. My first efforts by myself will be laughable, so if I do give this the old college try, expect a few posts absolutely steeped in self-deprecation.

For now, I’m good to just leave my face the way it is, by which I mean positively Below Average.

13 thoughts on “I’ve Never Put on Makeup”

  1. To the extent you’re interested in the advice of a random internet person – my girlfriend and I have both had the laser eyeball surgery and it’s great. If you’re willing to take the risk of potentially being blinded of course.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I take most of my advice from random internet people, so you’re all good.

      And I’ll look into getting laser eyeball surgery (lol, “look into” “eyeball” get it?). Though I have to admit, just thinking about it is getting me squeamish.

      Like

  2. It’s awesome that you’re comfortable enough in your own skin to make your own choices re: makeup. If you do decide to give it a go it will be on your terms (not because of peer pressure or marketing).

    [Ugh. I hope that doesn’t sound judge-y or mansplainy. No judgement to anyone who enjoys makeup! Everyone deserves to feel good about their appearance! I just take umbrage with the suggestion that women HAVE to wear it to fit some bs beauty standard. Should be their decision alone.]

    Someone put eyeliner on me for a goth party in high school. I couldn’t stop squirming, haha. I’m sure you get used to it but screw going through that discomfort every day.

    Perhaps you should invest in one of these: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gId2HsHvSgs&ab_channel=rwambolt XD

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha the makeup gun thing would save time!

      But part of the appeal I see in putting on makeup is that “daily routine” aspect. Whenever I visit my sister, there’s nothing I like more than to get ready for the day together with her. But brushing my teeth and combing my hair only takes so long, so I ends up just sitting around while her routine continues.

      Have you ever seen people who use those eyelash curlers while they drive? That is simultaneously terrifying and impressive, am I right?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You look fabulous, madam, you don’t need makeup. I tried it once when I was younger. Doesn’t really suit geezers. But anyway, think of all the money you’re saving! Goes on video games and food for Mr. Froley.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It sounds like you are curious about wearing make-up. If you don’t mind a suggestion from a reader, (I am a make-up artist) here goes:
    One thing to understand about make-up is it can appeal to artists. If you like to paint or draw, or act it can be an extension of an artistic personality. That being said it can also help you to feel confident. You don’t have to wear eye products if you find them uncomfortable. What could work for you is to start with a good moisturizer, eye cream, and a concealer. After you apply the moisturizer and eye cream, you mix a little concealer with a dab of eye cream and use a make-up brush to apply it. After you dab a little around you under eye and any areas that look uneven or blemished, you clean your brush with a tissue and then blend, blend, blend. If you like the effect, the next time you play try adding in a little highlighter or illuminator around your cheeks and temples. Finally a little lip color. That’s it, easy and flattering. You have a beautiful complexion and I love your glasses! Be well and Sparkle On!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really appreciate this comment! I haven’t taken the leap to finding some video or post that instructs me on how to apply makeup because that feels like a forward step to take when I haven’t even committed to buying any products. But you’ve tapped into the alluring nature of the application process. It’s something I see my sister do (she is a bona fide artist, she’s drawn all the cartoons I use on my site), and she’s quite good at it. I don’t even know what eye cream is, but this gives me a starting path I can take. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Iā€™m glad my comment connected with you. I have a video on my blog that shows visually how to apply. Feel free to contact me anytime if you want any explanations about products or applications. I blog/blog with my 16 year old daughter, who is just learning about cosmetics. We review products and do how to videos. We try and find products we can both use. Anyway, makeup should be fun and make you feel good about yourself. Be well and Sparkle On!

    Liked by 1 person

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